What would you do with a carrot this big? and Satanic Sheep!

I got a new sheep yesterday!! His name is Squarepants Ballcrush. He got this name because my mom wanted to name him Spongebob but as I was loading him in the truck and preparing to flip him on his back he made a break for it. It was at this point that he crushed my balls with his hoof. I lunged after him and tackled him; you do not know pure ecstasy until you are lying on top of a sheep with your balls throbbing. He is a Katahdin, which is a breed of hair sheep developed in the United States by crossing several different breeds with African hair sheep (I was defactoed by Eweforia, are strangers reading our blog? anyway thanks for the correction Eweforia) , meaning that he will never grow wool. He does, however, have balls the size of bowling pins. This is fortunate as that lovely ewe to his right, Rosie, is his betrothed. I have arranged their marriage for tomorrow as I will have no sheep making nookie out of wedlock and yes on my farm marriage is strictly limited to one ram and one ewe, none of this ram on wether action. Poor Flavinoid! I hope that doesn't happen. Sometimes I worry that Flavinoid gets loneley when I'm not around. The other sheep don't seem to frolic with him like they should. Did I mention that Squarepants Ballcrush worships Satan? I didn't know until I took this picture. I thought my Icelandic Sheep would remain staunch Protestants but apparently the power of a Satanic Ram is just too much for these polite Scandinavians. Oh, and have you ever seen a carrot this big? I pulled it out of the ground and said "Hey mama- come take a look at this here carrot, ya ever see such a thing as this?" and she said " I reckon I haven't boy, let me fetch my image maker so as to capture this moment for posterity purposes." and truly I could not even fit my mouth around this gigantic carrot. Thanks be to God. Rap at y'all later. Like at Apple Fest! Here's a teaser from last year. Just a reminder that the rest are at my Picasa and I just uploaded the best of 2006 there, about 120 pics so far.

blessed bass bark

sweaty and empty handed I hiked back to the bug. In truth it was more of an exploratoy expidition anyway... I had been grouse hunting on some state land near our new house with little luck... unless my goal was a nice hike which, I argued with myself, it was.

my keyless car entry invisably unlatched my trunk and I peeled off some cock-a-burr ridden blaze orange. I sheathed my unsatisfied weapon and dumped out a pocket full of shotgun shells. with perhaps more force than was necessary I slammed down the trunk... at the same instant that I realized my hand was conspicuously empty of keys...

although one check of my pants pockets was enough to confirm the truth of the matter, I checked and re-checked multiple times. Only after I had satisfied myself that no hidden pocket kept the sought after device did I begin to face the problem. I was a few miles from home and I was locked out of my car... a car that only had one set of keys to begin with.

with this incodent behind me, I can easily tell you how NOT to enter a locked car in the middle of the woods without any tools. also, it is important to note that one should be careful when attempting to dislodge a wedge of spruce from between the door and the frame of a 1998 beetle, lest the wood should suddenly lurch free and take a chunk of flesh from your gums...

BUT, I can also tell you how to successfully open that locked bug! tedious though it may be, a thin strip of basswood bark tied into a slip knot may just, with a dash of luck, be enough to catch a downed lock unaware! with a small gap held open by the afore mentioned spruce and just the right angle, one might be able to swing the loop around that skinney beast and draw the line tight before he is any the wiser! yes, this will work and the satisfaction of succedding in the task might be enough for me to encourage you to try it yourself... but then again, you might rather just want to keep an extra set of keys handy.

Why Pete never posts...

I dunno why I don't post, in fact this is one of the greatest ways to get attention in these "Computer and Technology" Days which leads me to the next part of this post, which is... I really have nothing here, I just wanted to post something because I feel like an ass not posting anything and reading it once a week so I'm fucking posting something and then I'm going to read this thing as much as possible, assholes.
So Emily and I went to the opera last night... what the fuck? You guys need to read a description of this opera Il Trovatore: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=10208107 It's totally messed up, the characters were written so poorly, I guess, but the music was perfect. Verdi kicked ass in this one (I think he would like that I think he kicked ass). I felt very little emotions for the characters and did not connect with them because they were so... juvenile (I know what you're thinking and I can be a deep and mature individual every once and a while... assholes) so when they sang their beautiful arias and duets, I could only appreciate the music and not the story which made the third act so boring as opposed to the first 2 acts which had me on the edge of my seat. The final act began with a duet between the two lovers where the tenor was great and the saprano's dying words were quite beautiful which roped me back in and I was expecting a great show down, an execution, and a vengeful yelp but I must say I felt a little blue balled on this one. She dies, he dies, the crazy gypsy woman says "told ya so" and the count falls to his knees and sings a beautiful song and... oh yeah after the count falls to his knees there is no song, it just fucking ends. Fuck Verdi. I mean it was cool, I really did enjoy it and aside from the third act where the female lead sings the same song twice in a row (ask emily) I was on the edge of my seat, seriously. Nice music. Great show.

Blood Bath and Beyond

Tamarack in marsh
faces gleefully giggle
air is squishier

Red and purple peach
the goose has taken summer
and burnt down my house

No one trusts in you
white hands full of cookie crumbs
memphis blues again

Lake of the Isles 9/19/08

I watch sail boats
and I can’t think of much of say
grasses sway away September
perhaps we blink in syncopation
the calm with in yourself
the ice and the fire
liquid muscles and winged feet running farther
silent seeds
an open door
the roots of emotion guide us here
inexplicable soft sirens
breezes and shafts of light
knowing your soul elicits safety
knowing the peace of sight
feel days rush against your check
they’ll slip away but you know what to seek

I worked on this after school today. It has been hard being apart but I feel I am slowly gaining some insight into why I moved here.
Tonight was a nice night we went out for dinner and drinks and listened to Blue Grass Band: Free Range Picken (almost as good as Tungst no Titties). I still like to claim I'm in a band by the way and in my head we're awesome. Tomorrow we are planning some thrifting and then later perhaps, some drinkin. I hope yall enjoy your weekend. I miss yall like whao.
Mar, I had a deliciously juicy peach today and thought of your unfortunate budding allergy. You should really nip that in the butt. mmmm, peaches. Also, don't work too hard. Remember to stop thesis/project work now and then for food/ rest and a pinch of fun. -Em

How am I not myself?

I have friends today
I am a giggle monster
but still I am sad

rainy day drops blues
there is a ghost light inside
illuminating

P.S. If I wasn't being myself, could I become myself?

lonely Friday

When I was 10 years old, I bought a new outfit at Target. one I was really excited about. It had Mickey Mouse down one half of the button down blouse with leggings, scrunch socks and high top dockers shoes. I strutted into Mrs. Falk's 5th grade classroom like no one could even touch my awesomeness....until I met the likes of Nick Martinka and Eddie Johnson who promptly looked me up and down, smirked and said "nice outfit"... they chuckled to themselves for a bit while I re-evaluated my get-up and decided that I was born to be the loser I was inevitably going to be my entire life....

I had the pleasure of spending the last 48 hours with 10 year olds and their will to mock and dismiss each other... with any luck at all, I caught such instances and encouraged 'diplomacy'; for lack of a better word. This was being done all the while uncle willy was putting out fires with a select few individuals, speaking figuratively as well as literally. We canoed our way down the mighty Mississippi, doing our best to imitate Louis and Clark the only way we knew how... our only true saving grace coming in the form of a chubby French fellow named Francois. He cooked us authentic food and told us telling tales of the wary traveler and the coyotes...

I find my peace now in the quiet of my home. I await my home bound friends and look forward to relaxation. I fear the carefree days have passed me by like a forlorn hitchhiker on an endless highway. Here is to the newness of life and all its adventures...

La Nina

Can you pick out the real Nina from this group?! Great themed dinner Nina, I hope you had an "AWESOME" birthday!!!

Tree-eel-fowl-loon bike brigade!!

Thanks everyone for an AWESOME Tree-Eel-Fowl-Loon!! What a way to end the summer! See more pictures of the Tree-Eel-Fowl-Loon at my google page: http://picasaweb.google.com/carlsonannam

Haikus Inspired by Scoolcraft Itasca Retreat

Schoolcraft hostel youth
Riding tandem through the pines
grind it and find it

I'll take my drugs now
rather than waiting for hurt
A pretty sunset

Fish in my belly
Douglas Lodge you are my friend
coasting to freedom

Canoe deluge tie
the Mississippi delta
where did Anna go?

Comfy chair, sweet nap
directed self reflection
the water is great

Wildly spinning spokes
now I'm biking through your dreams
free and breezy me

Odors float freely
poor taste from Uncle Willy
feel the mighty wind

I want some cheesecake
Scott promised it must be true
midnight rendezvous

Let's go for a swim
Frilly swimsuit for Linda
into the deep blue

The knots in my neck
my friends fingers are magic
away and be gone

Melodies and flames
blending voices in the dark
someone pick a key

Awaiting the kids
School is about to begin
Laughter and sadness

Children are waiting
the year begins with a song
Stay low to the ground